LOVE ME OR LEAVE ME ALONE!! pt..1ne

I think i just had a moment of clarity, u know those moments when u start seeing things much clearer. I just realized I'm missing in my life, if i was a child and my life was my parent my life would have me placed on milk cartons, or put up flyer's saying missing person, if my soul was CNN the news report would say...This just in were looking for a 5'11 190 pound mulatto with hazel eyes and a smile 2 die for..lol! he was last seen in 1992 @ the crossroads of adolescence st, and grown man drive. witnesses say that he was visibly confused and looked like he was in a rush. The next sighting of him was in 1993, traveling across the slow down bridge it seemed as if he was heading back 2 his life but witnesses say the bridge he was traveling on became blocked, so he was seen just standing there looking confused again, when his life got the word that he was there it came running to him, hand in hand with his soul screaming we found you thank GOD we found you!! Apparently this startled him because without warning he jumped clean off the slow down bridge into the choppy where do we go from here river. Some say he floated in that river4 at least the next 3 years, now we have no way of knowing if that's possible or not, however over the course of 3years many phone calls came in saying that there was a young man doing allot of strange things in the river,,some people say he built a raft out of all the debris and junk that was around him and managed 2 float gracefully through the cold frigid deep unforgiving water avoiding all the obstacles in his way ,,others say he became a pirate adapting 2 the rivers frigid temperatures, recruiting others that were displaced in the river rescuing them and allowing them 2 join his crusade as he went down the river pillaging and creating chaos. Another witness claimed that he was seen fighting in a huge battle with an elite group called the judicial system, which proved 2 be 2 much for him, but like a true captain he fought vigorously, as he watched the team he created fall apart some abandoned ship some fought side by side with him until they met there demise , but he refused 2 surrender which caused the judge of the judicial system 2 throw the book at him thus sinking his ship and throwing him overboard!! When he was detained and captured the judge didn't see fit 2 do away with him so after a substantial amount of time in the we got Ur ass now jail he was released, Life showed up once again 2 greet him running hand in hand with his soul yelling we found you thank GOD we found you, but upon reaching him he lashed out.."Leave ME Alone I don't know u anymore Ur not my life, if u gave a damn u would have let me drown in that river but instead I have 2 go the rest of my days with the word FELON tattooed 2 any and everything I do" Life tried 2 explain but he didn't want 2 hear it and walked off into the unknown. He resurfaced in 1999 and seemed 2 have a strange peace around him, witnesses say he could be seen smiling and laughing uncontrollably, some say he joined the they say this is supposed 2 fix everything academy, which others call college. He worked so hard in that academy trying 2 put a man together out of the broken pieces of a boy, it was like he was playing jenga witnesses say he built his self up then he would get knocked down. He succeeded in that academy to the shock of a lot of people in fact, one witness claims he was seen @ the final ceremony with gold tassels which meant a high honor was placed on him by the academy. Hearing the news of where he was life quickly grabbed soul and they were off running full speed toward the ceremony and this time upon reaching him, they stayed in the background and observed out of fear he would have the same reaction as last time. As life and soul watched they saw a different side of him he looked calm and content, so they made the decision 2 leave him be, witnesses say soul was seen consoling life as they walked away weeping together mumbling, we found him thank GOD we found him,,,, One witness is on record saying they approached the young man and said excuse me but there are flyer's up everywhere and your life and soul are running around crazy looking for you, the witness then states the young man looked strait into there eyes and said I'm doing just fine without them, turned and walked down the I got this shit path, he could be seen strutting with his head held high and his chest poked out grinning from ear 2 ear as he faded into the distance.........2 be continued!!!

THE ART OF MAKING LOVE a mans guide to a beautiful painting!!(parental discretion is advised)

Let's start with a blank canvas, this means you don't concern yourself with your lovers other partners. Let your imagination be clear, feel as if your the first artist she has ever had. confidently take out your brush and know that it's the perfect brush for the job, because in the art of making love it's not about the brush, it's the way the artist strokes. I would suggest painting with your eyes open by candle light. So you can have enough lite to see your painting and be able to enjoy your artwork, but also dim enough to block out any flaws that may take away from the true fulfillment of your artwork. Don't just start painting right away, do some sketching first. You know take the tip of your sponge and wet it, then ever so gently create an outline by allowing it to flow hitting every curve every dip every hill and every valley. During this process it's important to keep your sponge wet, so that you touch every part of your outline evenly. To test and see if you can begin painting take the tip of your finger and touch your canvas, if it is wet thoroughly you can begin to paint. Take your brush and make your first stroke a confident stroke, remain steady and stay firm. Your first stroke proves that you mean business and shows you are committed to the art of making love. Each stroke after that should be finessed some long and passionate and others short and powerful, don't forget to continue to use your sponge, any area not being painted by the brush is still eligible for the sponge. Embrace your canvas be a true artist paint with emotion. You can have the eye of the tiger as well as the wink of a pup.The strength of a stallion combined with the peace of a dove. Get excited turn your canvas different directions so you can paint from many different angles, paint until your body is covered in sweat, paint until you cant feel your legs, paint until your eyes cant see and your ears no longer hear, paint until you get cotton mouth, lite headed and then you'll began to see the big picture and just when you feel like you cant paint anymore look at your canvas and know you can do better.Begin to paint deeper with more passion, more emotion and more confidence. Remember your creating the art of making love we've seen what lust looks like, this is much much more. Take time and connect with your canvas I swear if your painting right you can see your own reflection as your canvas begins to take form. Talk to your canvas, yell how beautiful it is, how excited you are that it's yours, then whisper how good it feels to be the one painting it, then moan deep secrets that only the canvas can hear through each stroke of the brush. Paint until your body tightens up and you can no longer breathe and finally you exhale. Lift up your head and stare at your canvas if it looks like you feel ,you know drained,disoriented, confused, relaxed,tired, excited,thirsty, shocked, happy, satisfied and loved. Then you have successfully created a painting that can be classified as THE ART OF MAKING LOVE!! But don't get lazy make sure you continue to paint passionately because like art, love also fades. And if it is not refurbished it will fade away with time.... Oh and don't forget to put your name on your art because someone else will claim ya work..lol!!thanx 4 reading..1ne..Hazel Luciano!!

FOCUSED!!

WUSAH....I have to do that from time to time, I don't know if it's just me but lately I have had trouble focusing. It's funny because when I was younger teachers used to send letters home saying I had trouble focusing. I used to think "no I don't your just boring the hell out of me"..lol See when your a kid in class you do lot of daydreaming, you think about the life you want for yourself. You have thoughts of what your going to do for a living, the perfect love, the most expensive car , the big house and the best thought of all how much MONEY your going to have!! You have no idea the twist and turns life has in store for you so your goal of complete happiness seems attainable. So what happens when you become an adult? I'll tell you you stop living in your fantasies and start dealing in reality. Then you end up just existing...quick question when was the last time you were at work,home,or school and felt completely happy in your situation?..I don't mean grateful, blessed, thankful,content, comfortable, or appreciative..I mean truly happy? Take a moment and give it some thought....I'll wait....you see that, if I were a teacher I would be giving you a letter to take home saying you lack focus ...lol It's true as a child you dream big and don't understand the challenges life has for you, But as an adult you are fully aware of the twist and turns,heartache and heartbreak that life has in store for you. So then people would have you believe that complete happiness is unattainable...WELL SCREW THAT!!! I am challenging any and everyone that read this to check back in with that kid for a minute. Run hand in hand thru the mental fields of your mind with that kid. Take a trip to fantasy island spend a day at the daydreaming spa, take a boat ride under the unfocused falls, and get some rest at the complete happiness hotel...then come back relaxed , refreshed and rejuvenated. Bottom line is this if you find yourself not focusing DON'T PANIC!! It's just that kid telling you are not where your supposed to be yet, whether it's your work or your living arrangements,your finances, or even your love life. WHATEVER it is now is the time to get FOCUSED as an adult you have the tools to get your goals accomplished...Start living and enjoying your damn life, BREATHE DEEPLY, THINK FREELY, SPEAK TRUTHFULLY, LOVE WISELY, SPEND TIME ACCORDINGLY, KISS PASSIONATELY,and MAKE LOVE UNCONTROLLABLY!! No more notes to yourself for not focusing let your imagination run free and don't try and chase it. It is OK as an adult to dream big that life you dreamed of is still attainable, you know what obstacles are out there meet them head on and get passed them. Remove that weight so you can run toward your goals faster, put your hater blockers on so you can avoid the hate( because once you start running they gonna try and stop you) place your trust and faith in your GOD and let him help carry you there and GO GO GO!! Let the child in you meet the adult in you, GET FOCUSED on what you truly want out of life and together y'all can find complete happiness....WUSAH...thanx for reading...Hazel Luciano!!

WHAT AM I??

I am the reason African Americans are stilled often called Niggers!! I am the reason big boned chicks are in the mirror crying wishing they could change there figures even thoe she is intelligent and beautiful she still can't see because every time she walks out her door she runs into me. I am the reason crooked cops roam the blocks looking for young black males that are strapped with me So they can them a reason to pull me out then they'll beat them unconsciously I am the reason Osama Bin Laden, Fidel Castro and Saddam Husein hate the American Nation I got fed up with slavery one day and created the Emancipation Proclamation I am one of the reason's Malcolm X and Martin Luther King went to their graves I am the reason students can still go to school and pray I can get aggressive and shut down malls, churches and schools Run up on the smartest man in the world and make him feel like a mumbling fool When I am used in anger I can make the fearless of men show fear, take a man who's never cried in his life and make him shed a tear,make a thin man feel guilty about being thin and want to be fat, make a white man feel guilty about being white and tell him to die just to come back black I can get so aggressive Bush would vote to put Barrack Obama in office I am what people use to fight for what they want in spite of what there offered I am the reason homosexuals and lesbians challenged the military They have tried to get rid of me many times but I bounce back by any means necessary So if you must know What I Am I am something you want have and need, I only ask that when you use me you rise to your feet, open your minds mouths and hearts and through you others I'll reach Because I AM IN HIM AND I AM IN HER I AM THE FREEDOM OF SPEECH!! thanx for reading...1ne..Hazel Luciano!!

AN INCREDIBLE WOMAN!!

I was thinking today about GOD'S greatest creation, a WOMAN!! I just wanted to express my views on this fabulous gift that GOD gave man to unwrap when he's mature enough to handle it. I was fortunate enough to be raised in a house with 5 lovely women,so needless to say I have witnessed some things, the good, the bad and the ugly!! Now I am not saying I'm an expert but I did pay close attention; and the lessons I learned from the women in my home growing up prepared me for the man I would become.Yes that's right I learned how to be a man from a house full of women. No they didn't show me how to start a fire by rubbing 2 sticks together, but they did teach me the proper way to touch my woman to make her feel like she's on fire. My home was where my training of how to respect, cherish, love,and understand a woman began. So I feel I know a thing or two about a woman,I know enough to know that alot of women are forgetting that they are gifts from GOD. Some think there really expensive gifts because they shine bright after they polish the dust off, but like my grandmother says"everything that glitters ain't gold" or some feel there worthless without knowing beyond the look of a gift you may find it to be priceless; and to that I would say this, check ya packaging!! If your box is thrown together and ya wrapping is not pleasing to the eye and your ribbon is so loose it only takes one pull to reveal your gift; then you need to tighten up..place your gift in a box big enough to hold your many qualities,wrap your gift in the finest eye catching wrapping paper you can find,tie it up tight with the strongest ribbon available..Then when you feel like the gift GOD created you to be is being properly displayed take out your soul searching pen and put a name on it!! That way you choose who gets to receive your gift. And I'm not talking about no man's name I'm talking about the qualities you want embracing your gift.Your card should read like this... This gift belongs to the Man who is not afraid of a woman's strength,not intimidated by her thoughts,not jealous of her beauty, A man who knows that a Woman's scent alone can make the coldest man feel warm inside, A man who understands and respects the power that is held by a woman for being GOD'S precious gift. From the deepness of her love, through the depths of her soul,to the kiss off the tip of her lips, from the swing of her hips, to the mystery between her thighs, to the strength of her pose,the power between her toes,to the twinkle that's in her eyes, from the arch of her back,to the nape of her neck, to all the goodness she has wrapped inside! See that's only 5% of what makes up a woman, do you know how powerful a woman is when she decides to showcase a 100% of herself at all times?! "oooooowweee..that is a sexy thang" If a woman was bottled water it wouldn't be any ice bergs left.lol because men would drink the earth dry(bone dry)..lol But seriously there is nothing like a strong woman, I'm talking confident, beautiful,educated, knows her self worth and don't need no damn man justifying it for her,she can even be conceited; hell why not walk around with your head up it might force a man to look you in the face!! Don't be afraid to express your views, your opinions, show your intelligence, embrace your motherhood, or flaunt your beauty....let it out PLEASE!! The world needs that, hell I need that. If you understand and believe in the fact that you are truly God's greatest gift and check ya packaging from time to time..lol The next time you walk through a group of men they'll turn to each other and say now that is one incredible WOMAN!! thanx for reading....1ne!!...Hazel Luciano!!

Mourning in the Morning!! Rest In Peace??

Today is a difficult day for me It's my brothers birthday. That's not the difficult part the difficult part is that he is not here to enjoy it. Missing him got me thinking about my pops. See they have been gone going on almost 4 years now but I don't think that I have fully let them go yet. I still feel them and talk with them as if they were still here,I could be riding along in my car and just start laughing about some of the times we've shared,and turn to my passenger seat longing to see them there laughing along with me but nope, just leather interior. You see they truly knew me, the good, the bad and the ugly but they never passed judgement. They always allowed me to be me. that's rare; Its hard enough to find one person in this world to be completely free with, I was fortunate, GOD allowed me to have two. I sit alone sometimes and wish I could see them hug them sit have a drink or just speak with them. I feel so damn empty inside without them,Its crazy because when my brother passed I remember me and pops was driving back from the funeral and the ride was so quiet, I just kept thinking to my self "what the fuck am I going to do now?" and "who the hell is going to hold me down?" And just like he always did as if he could read ya mind pops says "well you still got me" Crazy as it sounded he was absolutely correct, at that moment my heart didn't feel so heavy anymore. Then we began to talk and tell stories about my brother and instead of crying we just laughed the whole 14 hr ride home. The following year GOD saw fit to call pops home. (hold on I'm crying like shit)...aight had to take a quick shot of some Seagram's gin I'm bout to be drunk) Anyway that hurt but it was a different kind of hurt it shook me. My confidence was slowly being sucked out of me,the two men in my life who pushed me to go for any goals I wanted to go for were gone back 2 back!!! I don't mourn in a crowd so I go thru it alone,but this time there was no one there to tell me old stories and laugh with, so instead of having a heavy heart, my heart did the only thing it could do with so much weight on it my heart broke!! I have yet to mourn them, I guess I'm still in denial, I just cant seem to let them go. So today I made myself a promise I am going to mourn this morning I am going to allow my tears to flow freely and not stop them, I'm going to laugh uncontrollably and not stop, I am going to let them know they were inspirational figures in my life and we together will continue to get my goals accomplished. I AM NOT AFRAID!!! Even tho GOD took the biggest bodyguards I could have ever had on earth, I know they still got me!! So to my pops Gerald W Cole Sr.(butch) and my brother from another mother John P Nelligan(masconi) I love y'all, miss y'all, but above all will never forget y'all!! I know at times I do some things that y'all might not be proud of and believe me I can feel it when your not, but I KNOW Y'ALL RIDING WITH ME RIGHT WRONG OR INDIFFERENT!! So I toast to you both with tears running down my face and proudly let them flow and say like we used to say "CHAMPAGNE 4 MY REAL FRIENDS REAL PAIN FOR MY CHAM FRIENDS" I love you both see ya when I see ya hope I'm still making y'all proud REST IN PEACE ....1ne!!! OH AND HAPPY BIRTHDAY BRO ....WHO LOVES YA BABY??!! ME THAT'S WHO...LOL(inside joke,im saucey who cares...I feel lite as a feather....float on baby boy float onnnnnnn.......... thanx for reading. Hazel Luciano!!

REFLECTION!

Looking in the mirror is a dangerous thing; it forces you to confront all ya flaws up close and personal. Whether it's something small like a pimple or something big like gaining 11 pounds. Maybe even something larger like that seceret you've been walking around with your whole life. You know the one Im talking about, the one thing about you that no one knows. Only you and the GOD you serve know those real intimate details of your true character. I guess we all have skeletons in our closets,some of us have more than others..lol!! I have come to grips with that fact, the key to it is you dont have to be handicapped by your skeletons thats why you have the closet, throw them mufuckas in there in lock the door...lol then burn the whole shit down!! The trouble comes when you start reliving or revisiting or allowing your skeletons to resurface. Then looking in the mirror becomes more of a punishment then a luxury. So I would suggest some soul searching allow your reflection to become the person you truely want to see in the mirror. Whether your incompetent have no self esteem, no pride,no loyalty,conceited,stupid,smart,frigid,shallow,ugly,fat,short,small,scared,hate your job,dont like your partner,your kids make ya sick,you just wanna run for the border and leave this world behind, whatever you are going thru in your personal life can all be erased once you look in that mirror do some soul searching and find the reflection that your looking and longing for. To reflect means to cast back on a image; your reflection is your image.I suggest the next time you look in the mirror you be reflective: cast back on a image given to deep thought; We cant change who we were yesterday but we can take who we are today and build ourselves a better tomorrow. Now go look in the mirror and get started...1ne!! Hazel Luciano!